Zero Sum War

War is Madness
Mayor Kamehameha XII was a simple man who liked simple things. He liked his women big, he liked his food bountiful and enjoyed the occasional outing with his family every Tuesday afternoon for what they called, 'kill that bastard pirate'. Mind you, this was probably karma coming to collect its due, but his hired security manager U.N. Known assured him that this was most certainly not the case. Afterall, a fleet of pirate ships bearing the infamous flag of Daddy D. Legs was, if anything, overkill for a small bit of justice. He stared around his office mournfully taking in what very well may be the last sight of his beloved abode. The door opened revealing the form of Mister U.N. Known who limped over and gave him a piercing glare.

Now U.N. Known was a bit of a strange case. Retired marine, wounded in battle, tall, lithe old bastard. Grey hairs and a fierce mustache that always got the harlots feisty. He wore a trench coat, and brilliant green eyes peered beneath a fedora. He had a firearm holstered to his side, a massive hand cannon that'd have taken the head of the poor bastard, along with the next ten guys behind him. All in all, very impressive. He came highly recommended. Said so himself.

"You need to make a decision mayor." The voice was cold and raspy, like the man had just crawled out of a grave, back from the dead. It gave him shivers every time he heard it. The good kind of course. He was always fond of a deep baritone voice in his music.

"Y-Yes, w-well," He stammered unsure of how to respond. He wasn't the best when he was under pressure, always fumbling for his words, frozen between one decision and the next. He liked a good bombardment as anyone, but the problem was is that they can shoot back! Something was terribly wrong in the world pirates could retaliate. Its just not done! Not on his island anyway.

"Look, I'll take operation control, and any fallout will be my responsibility. I'll even let you give the first command to fire. Don't you want to watch them burn?" U.N. Known asked grinning savagely.

"Oh," Well that certainly helped. Well, maybe he could squeeze in a chance to order a second round too. "Of course, of course, I'll address the people and you get right on that. Now lets talk about those cannons of yours, I hear they have such lovely designs, if you would be so kind... ?"

And the two walked out of the office, the drums of war on the horizon as the pirate fleet made its way towards the infamous Kamehameha Isle.